Officiant: Jarrett Crippen, The Defuser (Super Hero)
“Italics” = Audience participation
Entrance
[Entrance Song: Forbidden Friendship from How To Train Your Dragon]
Start: Jake at alter with Jarrett.
Flower Yoda & Ring-Bear: Jonathan & Athena (with Heather)
Red Team: Chris & Alys
Orange Team: Kyle (in Spirit) & Lee
Yellow Team: Jeremy & Kate
Green Team: Cates & Emily
Blue Team: Sami & Madi Grace
Last: Parents Mike & Belinda presenting Nikki
Welcome Statement
I’d like to welcome each and every one of you to this special event. Some traveled from down the road, some from across town or another state. And yet more traveled from a galaxy, far, far away. Thank you. Please turn off and put away any cell phones, cameras, tricorders, sonic screwdrivers, neuralizers, blasters or light sabers.
Mawwiage… mawwiage is what brings us together today. It has many names from many cultures. Husband and wife, Jedi and Commander, Batman and Robin… The “merging” of midichlorians, the bringing together of disciples, one from the Prophet G’Lucas; another from the Creator: Bioware. The Klingon’s call it: Tl-hoghDaj. However YOU call it… we are glad you chose to spend the day with Nikki and Jake.
You are now, one of us. “One of us.”
Sermon
Love: Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. You have found love and should cherish it. Within love is joy, pain, fulfillment, companionship, security and even at times, fear. But you must not fear, fear is the mind killer.
So say we all. “So say we all.”
It is up to each of you to help the other in all things; he may need you to reload the gore-cannon, she may need you to build a new bookshelf… and another… and another… A famous Doctor, Who was he?… A famous doctor once said: “Hold hands, that’s what your meant to do, Keep doing that and don’t let go, that’s the secret.”
So say we all. “So say we all.”
There will be times where she looks at you, deep in your eyes and says, “I love you” and you’ll say, “I know”. Then she will smack you with a lightsaber and all will be as it should be.
For the greater good. “For the greater good.”
If any of you has reasons why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.
[In the background, a Sith Lord stands up and shouts “SITH CANT MARRY JEDI!” Jedi Master Jake valiantly grabs for his lightsaber but Commander Nikki vas Normandy waves him away saying, “I’ve got this”, and grabs her own M-12 Locust submachine gun she just happens to have on hand. She points at the Sith and dares him to come forward, but he wisely takes a seat. She and Jake make sure no one else is going to say a word before they put their weapons away and continue with the ceremony.]
Wedding Vows
The Commander and the Jedi have chosen to write and exchange their own vows.
Nikki: So I’m just not going to look at you at all so I can try and get through this whole thing.
If you had told me three years ago that I would be standing at the alter with a man being married by a super hero in spandex, I would never have believed you. Well, maybe I would have believed the bit about the super hero, but not the whole being married to a man part. That part is still kind of weird for me but I love you, so I think we’ll be good. I mean, we’re standing up here, so I would hope so. The Universe is a trickster, I am fully certain of that, but it also knows what it’s doing and over the years, I have learned to put more faith into the path I have been placed on. I trust it. And I trust you. Completely. It is a new and scary and nerve-wracking feeling putting my faith and trust (and pixie dust) in the hands of another person. But I love you. A lot. Like a lot a lot. You know this. So I’m not sure what else needs to be said.
I could fill pages with stories of inside jokes and fond memories of us. I could try to write a bunch of vows but we both know I’m rubbish at them and the most I can do is just try to be a better person every day. I could say a million times that I love you and list off every reason for that love, but I doubt anyone wants to listen to me compare you to a beautiful butterfly with the grace of a thousand candles in the wind. So instead, I’ll just end with the wise words of my personal hero, Leslie Knope.
“The things that you have done for me to help me, support me, surprise me, to make me happy, go above and beyond what any person deserves. You’re all I need.”
I love you.
Jake: I know everyone is expecting me to write something long and sappy… But I’ll try to keep it short and sweet. Nikki, you are my other half. I don’t believe in perfection, but you are my perfect. You have doubts, fears, and insecurities, just like me; and yet we are amazing at sharing and communicating them with each other. We really are a team, a partnership, and we’ve earned the name Team Jikki. I love you with all of my heart, and I promise to do everything in my power to support and cherish you. Especially through the sickness and in health part.
Declaration of Intent
Jake, do you take Nikki to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hug, richer or poorer, in sickness… and in health, to support her as she battles the Reaper menace in all sectors of the galaxy?
Jake: I do.
Nikki, do you take Jake to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hug, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to help him fight the Dark Side and not give into fear, for fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering?
Nikki: I didn’t sign up for that!!!
Just say I do.
Nikki: Fine. I do.
Handfasting/Rings
[Jarrett gives individual Xbox controllers (both custom designed for each person) to Jake and Nikki and wraps the wires around each of them in a very geeky handfasting ceremony, forever tied together.]
Player ONE (Nikki) and Player TWO (Jake) have agreed to an exchange of rings. The ring is a symbol commitment to each other in the face of all things. The ring symbolizes infinity, a continuing hope, and a new hope.
So say we all. “So say we all.”
Place the ring on her finger.
[Jake puts the ring on Nikki’s finger.]
Place the ring on his finger.
[Nikki puts the ring on Jake’s finger on the wrong hand.]
Pronouncement
By the power vested in me, by the old gods and the new, by the State of Texas and Travis County, I now pronounce you man and wife, Jedi and Commander, BFF and BFF.
You may now kiss the Groom.
[Nikki kisses Jake.]
Presentation
I now present to you, Mr. Jake Morrison and Mrs. Nikki Jeske.
[Everyone walks out to Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede]
Special Songs
Ceremony Entrance: Forbidden Friendship, John Powell (How to Train Your Dragon)
Ceremony Exit: Hooked on a Feeling, Blue Swede (Guardians of the Galaxy)
Reception Entrance: Star Wars Theme, John Williams (Star Wars)
Reception Start: Shepard of the Galaxy, Big Giant Circles (Mass Effect)
First Dance as Married Couple: Shut Up and Dance, Walk The Moon
Father-Daughter Dance: Nobody Else But You, Bill Farmer & Aaron Lohr (The Goofy Movie)
Mother-Son Dance: Here Comes the Sun, The Beatles
Reception & Food
Bride’s Choice: The Leslie Knope Waffle Bar & Toppings
Bride’s Dessert: Mass Effect Cupcakes in Vanilla, Chocolate, and Strawberry
Groom’s Choice: The Deadpool Taco Bar
Groom’s Dessert: Vanilla & Caramel Star Wars BB-8 Cake (it made noise & had a working lighter flame!)
(Thank you to all our amazing friends who had a hand in making all of the food for us and the desserts!)